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Showing posts with label Self Portrait. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self Portrait. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Infected Me

I'll forewarn readers that this post involves a somewhat graphic description of life with my holiday delivered skin infection.  You've been warned.  First, I'll back things up a bit.  After my surgery I was put on a corticosteroid to help bring down the inflammation in my shoulder so we could forcefully break up the scar tissue.  Yes, that is as fun as it sounds.  One of the side effects of the steroids is a suppressed immune system.

I quickly started having what appeared to be aggressive breakouts on my face.  Acne is another side effect.  There may have been a little acne but what I was actually getting were small infections.  Friday after Thanksgiving my body evidently had more than it could stand and the infection went full scale.  The side of my face swelled into a rock hard mass by Saturday evening.  Sunday morning the swelling was so severe that the shape of my mouth is distorted and I could barely open my mouth to eat.  

Monday morning came and it was getting worse. I was going to go to the doctor or the emergency room.  It took five or six calls to get a single Dermatologist's office to actually answer their phone after 9:00 a.m..  I'll save that frustration for another post. I got in Monday morning and the doctor gave me three injections into the abscess...also as fun as it sounds.  I was sent home with antibiotics, antibiotic ointment and told to apply warm compresses to facilitate drainage of the abscess.  I was also warned at least three times that if my fever spiked or the abscess got worse...even a little...that I needed to go to the emergency room immediately.   I started realize that my doctor was very concerned.  Turns out this was a serious infection caused by one of the same bacterias that cause staph or strep (these little bugs are everywhere).  ...and it's highly contagious.  ...and can become a widespread infection.  Ick! 

Gross out warning!  After lunch on Tuesday the drainage began.  This was nasty gooey never ending puss.  I've never had such a thing on my body. I've never seen so much puss.  It is difficult to describe the volume effectively.  Nasty and disgusting.  This stage has settled for one area but I still have another that has yet to subside or drain.  Joy!  It feels like I'm about half-way through this phase.  The remainder will be for my skin to recover, which is a complete disaster at this point.  I also expect that I may be placed on a second course of antibiotics.

So the picture below is a bit exaggerated...but not by much.  This is however exactly what  it has felt like.  That's my post Thanksgiving in a nutshell.  I'm happy it happened on Friday because I had a great Thanksgiving with friends where the food ran from traditional American to Haitian family recipes to Chinese.  It was also the first time in three months or more that my friend Xiaoyan and I were able to talk for more than 15 minutes.  Were it not for Moseby (he needed to be let out ), I would have been there well past 2:00 a.m..  She and I never run out of conversation.  Never have.  We live more than 2 hours from one another and don't have lots of opportunities to meet up and are only able to get short calls during the week.  So I'm happy the infection waited until the day after Thanksgiving. 


©2009 Cindy K. Shaw All rights reserved.

Friday, November 20, 2009

It Really is a Self Portrait


Here's another variation on my self-portraits.  I did this earlier in the week on the same day I finished the construction of the Left and Right sculpture piece.  I have a friend who wants me to do a show with my various self-portraits.  If I ever do such a thing, I think the show will have to be called "Narcissus". 
©2009 Cindy K. Shaw All rights reserved

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Cabinet Door Series - 1


I have these cabinet doors from my kitchen which I converted to open shelves a year ago. I don't have the money to buy additional canvasses so I decided to put these to good use. They will be a series in their own right.  It appears the self portrait, ego centric view point is continuing. 
©2009 Cindy K. Shaw All rights reserved.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Day 41 - Dark Mood

I got to officially ditch my sling today which was great news.  My doctor is restricting my return to work for another month...not so great news from a financial standpoint.  I can manage, but it will wipe out a lot of savings efforts of the last several months.  I was working on this piece and things started to take a turn for the bad and I felt like I needed to file this under "Scary Fail" for the Left-Handed Series.  Did I lose control?  Is this more telling of my overall state of mind right now? Is this just one that should be crumpled and trashed?  Maybe I'm just channeling the Halloween spirit that is hovering.  Anyway...
I opted to start another piece and to just let the energy flow.  You may agree that the stress of my week is rearing its ugly head.  It's not a happy piece. My licensing exam is at the end of the week and so comes the moment of truth.  Am I ready or am I in serious trouble?  I won't know the answer to that question until Friday.  Aarrgh!


Saturday, October 03, 2009

Day 24 - Self Portrait


I was "working" on something off and on today...more of an exercise activity.  I went in to do some more work on it and this came out instead.  Going with the flow.

Sending thoughts to Sumatra that was hit with landslides to add to the devastation from the earthquakes.  In so many ways I want to be there, to help, to do all I can.  I am trying to find a way to make that kind of "work" life possible for me.  I feel like I am using my talents and intelligence to no good end just doing the day to day and collecting my paycheck.  There has to be more purpose for me than this. I'm investigating work with the Red Cross, both American and International as a possibility among other things.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Day 13 - Dominant Theme

My shoulder is the dominant theme in my daily life. This series for one keeps things in focus, but much of my day revolves around doing my exercises, TENS treatment with icing, working on my scars, and trying not to do anything stupid.

I think, however, this might be my favorite thus far in the Left-Handed Series. I've been composing another metal piece (something larger than the small table top piece completed on Day 9) the last few days and expect that to get started in the next few days.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Left-Handed Series Day 4


Had a rough night. My shoulder is very reactive to the weather changes and a full night of thunderstorms left me a throbbing mess. I'm not on any heavy pain killers because they knock me on my ass but don't cut much of the pain. Not a fair trade.

...I recognize that the artwork has been pretty ego-centric with self-portrait variations. I can only say that my every consciousness is revolving around trying to recover from my surgery & re-adapt my life for the time being.

I have a four month time table to where I will be released for 'full' functioning. The first week is one of the most challenging phases of the recovery. Overall I'm doing well and am happy with how this series is progressing.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Left-Handed Series Day 3


I don't know if I will post everyday, but do intend to move forward in my effort to see what will happen creatively working with my left hand. I am looking forward to a little play with my new Holga camera. Still working on freeing my right handed self to allow my left hand to do as it pleases. I have at least six weeks trapped in the sling...letting the possibility unfold.

Saturday, September 05, 2009

RotoHero

I've wanted to...needed to post for a few days now, but have been unable to organize anything beyond a rant here and there... #uknowhowiknowuregay trending topic on Twitter for one. Let me see...the beauty queen hatin' and suing for her right to hate could have been another. There is the whole health care debate which has come to forefront for me as I do all the miscellaneous preparations for my surgery. On a more positive note there's the little back story on my Buddhist self. I've not been able to get beyond the first couple of sentences before I drift another direction.

So instead you get this...I had a few lines drifting in my head about my right shoulder pain and the inner experience of it. Before I knew it this is what evolved. Not really like anything I've ever done before, but I can say I just let it happened and rolled with the process. I don't know if I like it from an art perspective, but I can say that it "feels" right.